The verse that keeps women trapped: Rethinking God Hates Divorce
I couldn’t even begin to estimate the number of Christian women who have stayed in marriages where they were being abused because of Malachi 2:16 (God hates divorce). Women who have allowed themselves to be run into the ground emotionally and spiritually by a selfish and entitled man who refused any accountability or change, because they believed that God would be angry with them for leaving.
I recently commented on an online video that spoke about it being okay for a woman to divorce because of physical abuse and how this verse in Malachi is wrongly used to trap them. I commented how Malachi is talking about God’s anger with men who treat their wives in a treacherous manner and was not intended to trap women in abusive marriage. “No good father is ok with his daughter being abused” was the theme of my comment. The original poster of the video responded with - go read the ESV of that verse. The words God hates divorce isn’t actually in the Bible.
I’m not going to lie; I didn’t believe him. I sort of rolled my eyes and thought to myself “Great, another one who wants to twist the Scriptures to suit their own opinions.” A pretty famous pastor, John MacArthur once said, “Once you say the Bible doesn’t mean what it says, then we have no idea what it means.” That quote has stuck with me for decades. It’s allowed me to come to terms with God’s Word when it irritated my flesh or stomped on my pride.
This quote from Pastor MacArthur is in regard to people twisting the Bible to suit their own opinion. Verses that are uncomfortable to the flesh have been dismissed as outdated or only for that specific time or people. I’ve heard people even go as far as saying that Paul’s writings shouldn’t be taken seriously unless Jesus also confirms them elsewhere. So to preface this post, I want to convey that I fully understand the danger and blasphemy of disregarding what the Bible says. I also want to stress the great regard that I have for the Word of God. The Bible is the most valuable possession that I have - it gives me the ability to know God and what He expects from me.
I go and read the ESV as I often investigate another’s claim that I don’t agree with, admittedly to disprove what they are saying. The words God hates divorce is nowhere to be found in that verse or any of the verses that deal with this section of Scripture. I’ve heard many pastors and Christians whose opinion I value speak very highly of this translation, the ESV. I then go and find out why this version translated this verse the way they did:
The crucial beginning of Malachi 2:16 is roughly:
כִּי־שָׂנֵא שַׁלַּח
ki sane shalach
The two important words are:
שָׂנֵא — sane = hate/hates
שַׁלַּח — shalach = send away/sending away
And shalach, “send away,” is language that can be used for putting away/divorcing a wife. You can see the same “send her away” concept in Deuteronomy 24:1, where the man gives the woman a certificate of divorce and sends her out of his house.
The problem is that the Hebrew doesn't simply say something as grammatically explicit as:
“I, Yahweh, hate divorce.”
That requires interpreting God as the implied subject.
The older traditional rendering essentially understands it:
“For [I] hate divorce…”
The ESV instead understands the third-person masculine singular forms as referring to the husband:
“For the man who hates [his wife] and sends her away…”
Hence its smoother English:
“the man who does not love his wife but divorces her…”
Interestingly, the word for “sends her away” is the same word that Moses uses in Deuteronomy 24:1-4 where Moses gives a law regarding divorce. If a man found a reason to divorce his wife, then he must give her a certificate of divorce and send her away from his home. Once he did this, he could not bring her back and marry her again. The Bible records that this is an abomination to the Lord. In Matthew 19:3-9 when the Pharisees question Jesus about this, asking why Moses commanded for a man to give certificate of divorce and to “send her away”. Jesus tells them here that Moses only granted divorce because of the hardness of their hearts permitted them to divorce their wives.
According to all of this:
God is very angry with the man who deals treacherously with his wife
God sees a man divorcing his wife as a violent act
God hears the cries and sees the tears from the woman who’s husband has hurt her in this treacherous way
God made sure that when a man divorced his wife he gave her the ability to remarry- if not, many women wouldn’t have had financial provision
God established rules which would prevent a man from using marriage/divorce to have sex with multiple women, divorcing one to marry another and then bringing his original wife back when he grew tired of the one he divorced her for.
God did this because of the hardness of their hearts, which ties back into Him being angry with the man whose hard heart caused him to deal with his wife treacherously
The modern church has used “God hates divorce” to trap women in abusive, neglectful and toxic marriages when the Bible is clear that God is very angry when a man treats his wife this way.
God never intended for His Word to be weaponized to keep women in abusive marriages.
